Switzerland To Die

They all come to Switzerland to die

I wonder why I wonder why oh why?

They all put their money in its banks

For which the Swiss express their earnest thanks.

They all buy a home beside the lake

Where nothing that’s on show is ever fake.

They all have extraordinary views

For they can well afford to pick and choose.

They all think the cost of living’s fair

And other tax arrangements don’t compare.

They all like the good security

Then spend a lot of time in Italy.

They all join The International Club

Whose tone reminds them of their favourite pub.

They all try to learn a foreign tongue

But rarely are at ease in more than one.

They all say the climate is divine

How wonderful to sit outside and dine.

They all glorify the local food

And once they’ve finished say they feel renewed.

They all claim the air’s so fresh and clean

And litter and graffiti can’t be seen.

They all relocate when past their prime

For at their age they’ve had their fill of crime.

They all lose good friends along the way

And at each other’s funerals meet and pray.

They all come to Switzerland to die

I only wish I knew the reason why.

They all come to Switzerland to die

It almost makes one feel one ought to try.